Parenting for Beginners

In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But in reality, it’s difficult to balance the needs of your family with the needs of your clients.

Phones, fax machines and e-mails have no common courtesy, nor does your client really care about your personal situation. You are simply a means to an end consisting of a telephone number, an e-mail address and a 1099 at the end of the year. For the most part, you are not afforded special considerations and must respond to their needs or your business will suffer.

Long before I began my career as a writer, I was already a work-at-home mom. I provided outsourcing solution to a variety of clients, which included bookkeeping, personnel records, reports and creating employee handbooks and mission statements. Initially my clients were leery; it was a time when home businesses were just emerging. I went to great lengths to establish and maintain my associations. Part of my success was the perceived illusion was that I was available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Continuously, I had to prove my home life did not interfere with their business needs or deadlines.

One day, as I absentmindedly brushed my son off and repeated the phrase, “just a minute” for the fifth time, I suddenly realized why he had no concept of time. That “minute” I was speaking of was hours away, at best. The business I built so that I could be at home with him was also the business that was taking me away from him. I turned back to my computer to complete the report I was working on and my son returned to his video game in frustration. It was then I realized my solution was only a paragraph away.

I was experienced in writing mission statements for my clients. These leadership tools are used in the corporate world to define goals, values and purpose. A successful business takes commitment, resources, responsibility, problem solving, honesty and hard work. Doesn’t that also define raising a child? Parenting consists of all those factors and so much more.

As in any business, the business of raising a child will bring accomplishments, successes and rewards, but it will also have it’s share of conflicts, disappointments and setbacks. However, when it comes to the business of family the stakes are much greater than a new client, a contract, a promotion or a raise; they involve the wellbeing of your child.

The emotional difficulties of childhood serve to build strength, courage and character. But to a child, these conflicts may feel catastrophic if they have no one to turn to. You can help prepare your child to cope if you take time out each day to remind him how much you love him, express your commitment to his wellbeing and provide positive affirmations that help foster confidence.

Just as you keep focus on your business goals and rise to meet your company’s mission statement, keep focus on your personal goals as a parent. Run your family business with the integrity and respect of a healthy, thriving corporation. Define your ideals, set plans to action, keep communications open and reward success. Encourage individuality, praise creativity and share the wealth. Be positive and proactive. The business of family is one to be celebrated and cherished. It may not be listed as a FORTURNE 500, but it is the most important business of all.

A PARENT’S MISSON STATEMENT

The purpose of this Mission Statement is to express my love, support and commitment to you. As your parent, I promise to help you achieve your dreams and goals by providing you with a safe and nurturing environment. I respect your opinion and I encourage your creativity. I will be there to praise your accomplishments and comfort you in your disappointments. I promise to accept you as you are, support your decisions and honor you as a special and unique individual. You have the right to a safe and happy childhood and as your parent, I am committed to providing this to you.

TIPS FOR WORKING AT HOME

The luxuries you dreamed of as a work-at-home mom can quickly lead to burdens unless you are organized and scheduled. This schedule consists of a balance between business and family and activities should work in harmony with your child’s needs, not against them.

• Define your work area and organize it so valuable time can be spent on the task at hand;
• Determine quiet times, such as early morning or after your child goes to bed. Use this period to complete tasks that need the most concentration;
• Set a start and finish time for your workday;
• Allow a full day off from work each week and stick to this schedule as much as possible;
• Start each morning by talking with your child about the day’s events. Include your child in these plans. By informing him of your activities, he will be comforted in the knowledge that there will be time for him;
• Remember that you are entitled to breaks, lunch, vacation time and even sick time. You are the boss;
• When it comes time for your break, stop working, compliment your child for his cooperation, and spend the next block of time enjoying the moment;
• Record an “out to lunch” message and set your phones daily. Even if you are sitting at your desk, do not answer the phones. Your clients will become accustom to your schedule;
• If you need to run an errand, but are concerned about missing an important call, don’t wait around stressing, forward calls to your cell phone;
• Consider hiring a babysitter a few hours per week to read or play with your child or do a special craft.

Most of all, remember your priorities as a parent and your commitment to your personal mission statement. When your child needs to talk, be grateful he or she is turning to you. Keep the lines of communication open, there will come a time when they need you for more than a glass of milk and a snack. And when that time comes, they might not be able to wait, “just a minute”.

People tend to think that being a stay at home parent means you have time to sit in front of the TV all day, but anyone who has tried it knows better. Staying at home means getting up early enough to get the kids to school, take care of any children not yet in school, clean the house, prepare meals, get the children to activities, etc. It’s not an easy or leisurely life.

The first thing to think about are your goals. What do you need to get done each day and what do you want to get done?

Many parents find it useful to have a calendar or day planner in a central place in their home. This allows everyone to see what is coming up the next day, week, etc. You may instead prefer to keep your schedule on your computer. Don’t feel obligated to use the system that works for your best friend, husband or anyone else. It needs to work for YOU. This only works if you are consistent about marking your schedule. If not, you will find this to be a very frustrating exercise. However, a good schedule can greatly simplify your planning for each day.

Be realistic about how much time it takes to get any school age children ready for school each day and get yourself and them out of bed appropriately. If you get up a bit earlier than the children, you’ll have time to make them breakfast and lunches for the school day. Alternatively, make the lunches the night before. A good breakfast can be very helpful to your child throughout the day.

To do lists can be very helpful. You might keep a detailed one with everything you need to get done during the day, from feeding the baby to pickup up the kids from school, or just a simple to do list with the activities you do not do regularly listed.

Know your internal schedule. By this, I mean, know when you are most likely to complete certain activities. If you are most in the mood for house cleaning first thing in the morning, make sure you schedule it immediately. If you’d rather wait until after lunch, do it then. Don’t forget to include plenty of time for family activities.

If you have work at home job or home business, make sure you have plenty of time to get your daily tasks done there. Once again, knowing when you will be most productive will help you tremendously. Not all opportunities will give you flexibility to change your schedule to meet your preferences, so you may have to find ways to deal with work schedules that are not ideal. Businesses, too, have a way of eating into other plans, so keep a certain degree of flexibility in your daily schedule.

Everyone has things they do that just waste time. Know what you tend to do that is unproductive. This doesn’t mean skimping on personal time. However, if you get too interested in tiny details, perfecting things, and so forth, you can waste a lot of time better spent elsewhere. Being disorganized also wastes tremendous amounts of time. Write down important phone numbers, addresses and so forth where you WILL find them easily later.

Don’t forget to include everything that uses time in your day. Your children get out of school at a certain time, but how long does it take you to walk or drive there?

Make sure you aren’t spending an excessive amount of time doing activities such as watching television, surfing the internet, checking email, gossiping with friends, and so forth. While these are certainly enjoyable activities, if they take up too much of your day you can feel frustrated while trying to get other, more important things done. Know how much time you can spend on these things. Can they be moved to less stressful times of the day? A VCR or Tivo can make it very easy to switch the time you watch your favorite television programs. The internet and email will be there when you have time. Friends will understand if you’re too busy for an involved conversation if you tell them so.

Much of time management is simply being aware of what you need and want to do and how much time you will need for it. It need not take much time at all out of your day to plan how best to use that day.

About the author:
Stephanie Foster is the owner of Home with the Kids, a resource that knows that there’s more to staying home with your family than just business. From money saving tips to parenting and marriage tips, to work at home jobs and businesses, you can get information and support here. You can visit the site at http://www.homewiththekids.comand sign up for the free newsletter.